The Never Finished Book - My Dark Little Secret

 

They whispered to her: "You cannot withstand the storm."

She whispered back: "I am the storm."

I started a book - a romantic suspense-back in 2014.

Yes, you read that right. 2014. More than six years ago. And it’s languished on my computer, getting a quick titivation here and there, but never actually being finished. I have excuses—at least four of those years have been a nightmare for many reasons too depressing to note here. But I have finished other books that have been published, made headway on several others. But this book? I felt like calling it Dark Depression, rather than Dark Revenge.

One simple problem that I have never, in all my writing career and all my completed books, come across before.

I COULDN’T GET THE ENDING.

 Then, strange as it sounds, I woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago, and I just KNEW what the ending should be, made some notes, and I’m about to sit down and get that in gear. It will require a fair bit of rearranging of events, but yes, it looks like Dark Revenge will be finished and available for sale sometime soon!

So, the moral of this story is never give up on an idea. You’ll never know how close I came to deleting all the files for this book because seeing them every time I started to work, seeing all those stunted, unfinished pages, was undermining my writing.

Now I feel like the elves in Snow White – hey-ho, hey-ho, it’s off to write I go!

You can visit some of my finished books at https://tinyurl.com/yyb5uz8r

Larry the Lump - More Famous Than Me? (Cancer Diaries)

It appears that Larry the Lump, that little knot of confused and disaffected cells that has nested in my left breast, is more famous than me. That is something I do hate him for.
Oh, I can accept that his appearance in my left breast is purely random. Sure, he doesn't actually mean any of the harm he has caused me. Nothing I or anyone else has done likely caused his existence.
I can live with the prospect of surgery soon; I can cope with the sometimes very debilitating side effects of the drug I am taking.
I can definitely enjoy the idea that Larry's estrogen receptoring little presence is being quietly starved of estrogen because of the treatment. Shrink and die, you little beast!
But what I hate him for is that he seems to have caught the imaginations of so many people.
Really? You ask.
Yes, indeedy.
My regular blogs, where I meander on about writing and life, usually enjoy the attentions of a few hundred readers.
But blogs where Larry is the star, we're looking into the four figure numbers of readers who log in to read his adventures. Yes, Larry is more famous than I!
Although there has been a kind of secondary benefit to me for blabber mouthing about this cancer, a lobular tumor that doesn't show up on mammograms.
I know that this concept, that there are breast cancers that the mammogram may not pick up, has been food for thought for quite a number of readers and friends. Indeed, some have sought further medical checkups. Sadly, at least one woman has been diagnosed with cancer after she insisted on a breast ultrasound after hearing about the symptoms that finally led to my diagnosis.
Strangely, many people have commented about my willingness to give Larry the Lump centre stage as I talk about this experience. The words courageous and brave have been used, and yet that's not how I feel.
For one thing, as a writer and journalist, I think that knowledge is power. If you know the possibilities, you can perhaps prepare or protect yourself from them. I know I was shocked to learn that all the mammograms I had had faithfully over the years had failed to pick up on what the oncologist says is a tumor that has been around for five or six years without detection.
I belong to a generation in which the word 'cancer' was never spoken. In my family home, if totally pushed, you might refer to the 'Big C', but never THAT word. It was as though mentioning it would bring the curse down on someone's head. Even the close relatives of people who had actually been diagnosed were advised by doctors not to tell that person he or she had cancer. It was such a scourge that people feared a victim - and that was the word used then - would commit suicide rather than face the odds of dying from the disease.
So I talk about cancer. Everyone I know knows, and hundreds more people who have never met me know. And there is a benefit for me, too - all the love and support, prayers and good thoughts I have received must surely be causing some kind of ripple in the ether, because so far my test results are looking good.
I can only repeat: if you have pain or discomfort in your breast don't assume that if the mammogram is clear there is no problem. Ask for further investigation.
And educate your doctor - mine told me there was nothing wrong because the mammogram was
clear. When I finally got a biopsy and MRI, the little beast was more than eight centimetres long and growing lustily on a diet of estrogen.
Even so, I still resent Larry's popularity. That he should be more famous than me!
Sometimes, even on his starvation diet, I think he's laughing....

NOTE: I was shocked to discover that there is actually another Larry the Lump mentioned in a blog by someone with throat cancer! And I thought I was so original! Here's a link to that other Larry: https://selfy0105.wordpress.com/

Saturday’s Snippets: Happy Valentine’s Day: Legends and Book Deals

@GlenysOConnell


I’d love to send everyone a huge bouquet of flowers to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day! Here are a few tidbits about St. Valentine that I wanted to share for fun – you can check out more on hhtp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day

* Roman soldiers were not allowed to marry, but St. Valentine carried out wedding ceremonies for some soldiers with their sweethearts – and got himself imprisoned for it.

* He is said to have cut out parchment hearts to give to the soldiers and others he helped, to remind them of God’s love.

*He was accused of ministering to Christians, when Christianity was forbidden by the Romans and its followers were persecuted.

*When he was in prison, legend says St. Valentine healed the sick daughter of one of his jailers. He was to be executed, and before going to his death he is said to have written to the girl and signed the letter ‘Your Valentine’ .

* The tradition of exchanging candies, cards, and gifts on February 14th started in 18th century England during the Romantic Era, as a way of proclaiming one’s love.

* The busy, business-minded Victorians took the tradition from handwritten notes to commercially manufactured Valentine’s Day cards.

* Sadly, even though we love the hearts, flowers, cupids, and candy, whether the legends are true is a moot point. There were a number of saints in the Christian Church with the name Valentine, and we’ll probably never know whether the saint we celebrate actually existed or is a myth created by the actions of several martyrs.

Even so, here’s wishing everyone a wonderful Valentine’s Day. And remember, you don’t have to have a sweetheart to celebrate – celebrate yourself by doing something nice for the day!

And as a little gift from me, you can get my two romances, The No Sex Clause and Judgement By Fire, for just 99c each for a limited time! And don’t forget, you can get a bundle of ten great stories, including my Saving Maggie, for just 99c, in Running to Love, from Crimson Romance. Enough to bring a smile to any Valentine’s face!

Monday’s Motivation: Failure Into Success?

@GlenysOConnell

Quote: ‘Failure stretches your edges. Excellence takes you deep within a narrow pool, but failure grows your breadth.’ - Jennifer Boykin, 'Life After Tampons'.


  I ended last week feeling just like this – stop the world, I want to get off! Oh, to go back to childhood and worry about nothing more than whether to crayon the sky blue or green…

Of course, that’s a myth. Personally, I think we’re not intended to come out of childhood unscathed. After all, what growth would there be in  that? How would that fit us for being adults?

Still and all, last week was a bummer from start to finish. Began with news that a project I was keen on might be permanently stalled, went on to drag in some totally unrelated but very vexatious issues, and ended with two projects still in limbo.

So I spent the weekend vacillating about when it was time to simply let something go, something that’s not working and looks like it is getting worse, rather than better. And wow, did that encourage that nasty feeling of failure to creep in.

Now, as a writer I know that perhaps the number one success requirement – after talent, that is – is persistence. Keeping on going when it looks like all is lost. Hanging on by the fingernails to your belief that this really can work. But also, there is a moment in time when you choose between giving up and going on. Ever heard that old saying: It’s always darkest before the dawn? Well, gee, I’m sure we’ve all seen those dark moments, and sometimes chosen to give up right before the moment when dawn’s light was beginning to brighten our horizons.

We’ve been taught that failure is a bad thing, something that indicates weakness and a whole range of moral deficiencies. I’ve never really subscribed to that theory, because I know that sometimes things happen that are outside our control.

But the idea of failure leading to success? That’s a hard one to take in. I’m happy to say I found some comforting advice on a blog I read often, called Life After Tampons. Jennifer Boykin, who owns the blog, is a sweet and sassy woman who mentors others with kindness and wisdom.

In her blog, A Word About Failure, she made this statement that really spoke to me: ‘Failure stretches your edges. Excellence takes you deep within a narrow pool, but failure grows your breadth.’

Failure, she says, brings wisdom, and perhaps it is possible that wisdom can’t arrive without failure.

I thought about this a lot. Wisdom is vital in understanding yourself and what you’re trying to achieve. And with that understanding, such wisdom can light the path to success.

In other words, screw up enough times and, if you learn from those screw-ups, success could just be within your grasp. Interesting take on  it all, isn’t it?

Thanks, Jenn – I needed that.

Do call over and visit Life After Tampons. Even if you’re not a woman ‘of a certain age’ you’ll still value the sass and sense you’ll find there!

Wednesday’s Writing: Writing Rituals Don’t Replace This…

When I first began writing, back in what my kids refer to as the 'Dark Ages', by which they meant before computers and the Internet, there were few guides for writers. The ones I read were staid, intellectual treatises that made writing seem like some kind of religion only the initiated could practice.
Times changed, and with the advent of the World Wide Web, lots of information and opportunities became available to writers. And with this deluge of information came all sorts of advice, much of it terrific. But some of it caused more confusion than clarity. You have probably come across some of these examples:
* Meditate before you write
* Use only pen and paper to capture your thoughts.
* Light candles around your writing space – certain scents inspire creativity.
* Write at dawn, when your work is blessed by the rising sun.
* Write at night, when the moon inspires you to greatness…….
Yeah, right. I started my career as a journalist. Imagine the effect of announcing that I couldn’t write the front page lead until I’d meditated, lit candles, and performed other rituals to bless my work……I'd have been quickly shown the door!
So I learned that there’s absolutely no substitute for putting your bum in the chair, hands on the keyboard, and  - yes, writing. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? But there is magic in just starting to write, even a stream of consciousness that bears some faint resemblance to your story idea or non-fiction topic. mKeep going, putting those words down, and eventually, slowly, the words begin to form a coherent whole and your book is under way! 
Sure I have my own rituals – got to check email & FB, and read over the last chapter I wrote before closing the computer sown for the night. There needs to be a coffee by the keyboard, too, but I know that nothing takes the place of actually getting the writing written!
Comment about your own writing rituals for a chance to win a copy of Naked Writing: The No Frills Way to Write Your Book, or a $10 Amazon gift certificate