Monday’s Inspiration: Post Holiday Depression Got You In It’s Grip?

 

So, the big holiday kerfuffle is over. Presents unwrapped, to cries of joy, or frowns of hidden disappointment, or gasps of horror: ‘You bought me that? What were you thinking?”

The decorations are down. The clean up begins – maybe our home looks suddenly dull, boring, even scruffy but we lack the energy to do anything about it.

We’re back to our day jobs, all the late nights and late mornings, the excitement, the visitors, the feel-good factor of being free of the everyday, all that is gone.
It’s dull outside, and unless you’re in the southern hemisphere, it’s pretty cold. –23C here right now, and snow. Even the birds seem depressed.

And so do many people. It’s hard to get back into the groove. You’re tired, despite a good night’s sleep – if you were lucky enough to get one. Writing seems such a big effort – and why bother, when all those dreams of success and a huge readership, or of good reviews and praise for great writing, all seem so unattainable now?

It’s the post-holiday blahs. Which will soon become the February blahs.

There are lots of myths about suicide stats around holiday times, and I say ‘myths’ because the whole holiday thing is actually a kind of life raft, lifting us out of the daily grind, full of hope.
Then come the Blahs. The depression stats for January aren’t mythical, nor are the rising numbers of suicides at this dark and cold time of the year, post party. The ‘goodwill’ is over, the bills are coming in, and a whole other work year looms ahead. After all the hype and expectations of the holidays, is it any wonder that the day after New Year’s Day brings a hard landing down to earth and reality?
Time to take action.

The odds are good you’re not depressed in the clinical sense, but if you think you are, of if suicide tends to creep into your thoughts a lot, you need to drag yourself over to your doctor’s office. He or she may suggest anti-depressants, and they can be a good start to getting back to your usual self. Better yet, a good counselor can be a life saver, literally. Many professionals believe that a short-term drug intervention, combined with counseling, is the answer to depression for most clients. Remember that a good counselor doesn’t just sit and listen, she helps you find the root of your problems, and to find the solution that you need, as well as developing coping mechanisms to keep the Black Dog of depression away.

But if you’re just feeling down, dissatisfied and restless, a good start is to get back into a routine. That may not be your pre-holiday routine – perhaps you need something more, such as greater stimulus or more free time.

Maybe there are things in your life you need to change, and that’s something to think seriously about. Get out  your notebook, write them down, then write the obstacles, the pros and cons, to each one, and list some possible solutions. Choose the best solutions and see how you can implement them.
Maybe it’s just the letdown after the holidays. The big annual holiday brings with it a lot of stress, physical demands leading to exhaustion, unrealistic expectations (your own or someone else’s), and the feelings of inadequacy coming from the sheer over-commercialization. Family get togethers can be a source of tension and leave you feeling depleted. Or perhaps you couldn’t see your family because they’re too far away, or maybe you were alone and it seemed everyone else was having a great time. Blah!

Here are some links you might find useful. Or you could get a copy of my book, Depression: The Essential Guide!

http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/holidays
http://www.medicinenet.com/holiday_depression_and_stress/article.htm
http://www.ehow.com/about_5122621_causes-holiday-depression.
http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/h/holiday_depression/causes.htm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXiz5WqITi8

Have you found a routine that gets you our of the blahs and into a happy routine? Please share in a comment here for others who may be going through the blahs.

Saturday Snippets: The Idea That Became Winters & Somers

 
While living in Ireland I took a course to qualify as a private investigator – my, what I won’t do for my art! Anyhow, this was research for a completely different book idea. But I noticed that there didn’t seem to be a single woman PI in the country, and not really an awful lot of police women, either.

So I got to wondering, like you do: how would a woman make a living at private investigation if so many doors were closed to here?

And Ciara Somers, Heroine of Winters &; Somers, was born!
Ciara actually wanted to be a policewoman, but her interfering – and very rich – grandparents “protected’ her from such an unseemly life by whispering in other influential ears.

After her first few jobs, mostly helping old ladies find their cats, Ciara finally finds her niche – she takes commissions to test the seduction temptability quotient of other women’s boyfriends/fiancés/husbands to reassure their suspicious or insecure women. That is, she goes out and tempts the guys to see if they’ll stray – then scarpers before they take her up on the offer!

It works well until she makes a horrible mistake and runs afoul of sexy New York Homicide cop Jonathon Winters – who’s also a bestselling, sexy author of wild romance novels (but don’t ever tease him about that!). Winters is in Ireland on sabbatical to write his latest novel, but it seems he left his Muse at home. Until he clashes with Ciara, Then he decides to show her how to run a proper detective agency.At least she restrains herself from biting him – although biting in some form sounds like a fun thing to do with the delicious Det. Winters.

Throw into the mix a diamond thief, a whacky grannie, two rich and misunderstood grandparents, an eccentric landlady, a pregnant friend, a pampered MG sports car, and a Guinness drinking dog and you have a plot which allowed me to put Irish dialogue, humor and characters to hilarious use. Winters &; Somers is one of my favourite books!

Here’s an excerpt:

“Myself, I think I rather fancy the little vintage MG – the red one over there.”
It happened every time. Guys got a look at the sports car, and this drooling expression came over their faces. She wished she could have the same effect.
“Jeez, that’s just gorgeous,” Winters said, drawn towards the car as if on an invisible string, “Such a fabulous restoration job, too.”
“Yes, it is." She enjoyed the expression on his face as she slipped behind the wheel. The powerful engine purred to life at the touch of the key, and Cíara gave Winters a gracious little wave as she shot off down the driveway, spurting gravel all over his shoes.
She might have won that round, but Winters was a cop and a writer, which meant that he knew a thing or two about persistence. He had something he wanted to discuss with her, and he was damned if he was going to let her get away with swanning off like this. And he’d really like to know how she came by that fancy car….
It took a few minutes, but she finally became suspicious of the headlights that followed steadily behind her. Slowing down a little to get a better view of the vehicle behind, she swore loudly and long, words that would have had Grannie Somers washing her mouth out with soap and water, and Grandmother Henley in a dead swoon on her polished oak floors.
She didn’t stop, though. She assumed Winters was still staying in the swanky Dublin hotel where she’d taken those ill-fated photographs, so he did have to return to the city, Maybe he’d get bored of following her once they got into the traffic.
But it was a forlorn hope. When she finally found a parking spot on Grosvenor Square, he pulled up right alongside her, boxing her in. “I’d love to come in for a coffee, but I don’t want to block the street and parking’s bad,” he told her as if she’d actually invited him. Then he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from one of his immaculate dinner jacket pockets, ”I found this on your desk at the office, and thought it was really serendipity. I’m looking for a place to stay when I’m working here, and you’re looking for a flat mate. Perfect, eh?”
Cíara nearly choked on the words that struggled to climb out of her throat. When she was finally able to put them in order, she croaked “You’ve got to be joking? This stupidity is why you followed me home?”
“Partly. Partly I wanted to see you safe back. It’s not good for a woman to be out late and alone, especially in a vehicle like that. It’s not exactly invisible, is it?”
Speaking slowly, as if to a young child, she said “I am a big girl. I can stay out late if I want, and I can handle any Neanderthals with the wrong idea. Including you! Now, stay out of my way, out of my flat – and preferably, out of my life!”
“I wonder if your good buddy Frank O’Keefe will see it that way?” Jonathon said casually.
“What? Are you still on about…I thought we had a deal….”
“So did I. A partnership.”
“But now you want my flat. You want to take over my life….” She knew she was squawking, but couldn't help herself.
“Nonsense. The partnership is good for both of us. And as for the flat, I’m looking for someplace for a few nights a week. I don’t care for living in hotels. And I need to spend time at the cottage in Dunmore East, as well – so you’ll hardly know I’m there!”
She slumped back in her seat. She knew when she was outgunned, but did he have to make it all sound so reasonable? Slowly she got out of the car, locked it, and walked, shoulders slumped, towards her own front door. He fell into step beside her, slipping an arm around her. “You must find it chilly, wearing so little in this breeze,” he excused himself. She didn’t even have the energy to shrug him off. From her grandmother on the phone first thing, then Winters’ rearranging her office and making her impossible bets, Mary Margaret's lunchtime revelations, Harry’s behavior, the dinner party, and Wallace – now this! Her day had been a total washout. Besides, his arm was warm….then she had an awful thought.
“You’re not wanting to come in now and look around, are you?”
“Nah, I’ll give you time to get your underwear off the shower rail. Tomorrow morning, early – before office hours.” He watched her climb the stone steps and insert the key into the huge door. She felt his eyes on her and grinned as she remembered the short skirt would give him quite an eyeful as she reached the top of the tall steps. She gave a little provocative hip wiggle before slipping inside the house, and had to admit, against her better judgment, that his presence did feel safe. Not that she had ever felt under threat, coming home alone late at night. At least not that she would admit to, anyway. After all, if you start to feel like a victim, you are a victim, her martial arts instructor had told the class. And no granddaughter of Grannie Somers would ever be a victim.

Saturday’s Snippets: The Idea That Became “Another Man’s Son”

@GlenysOConnell

I’m baaack!! Yes, after the holidays (fun) and the flu that followed (not so fun) I’m finally defying the awful snow and record breaking cold to get back into the blogging routine.
We actually had a green Christmas – the weatherman says it’s the first in 64 years for our part of the world (Ontario, Canada) and it was really nice. Able to attend all sorts of events with clear roads and no need for heavy parkas and snowboots (mine are ancient, comfortable and have crampons on – rubber and metal covers that help traction on ice but also make a lot of noise.
So now it’s payback time – winter has happened with a vengeance. That’s my house in the picture, just so that all you folks in warmer climes – or Canadian snowbirds sipping cocktails on your balconies in Florida (!) - can have a laugh or two at our expense.

So, to today’s snippet. Another Man’s Son is in ebook and print, and published by The Wild Rose Press #TWRP as part of their Lobster Cove series. It’s romantic suspense, and the idea came when I wondered what would prompt a 21st century young woman to marry someone she hardly knew, just to protect her unborn child. And what would happen when the man who really loves her returns and threatens to sue for custody of the child he believes is his?

Especially when the man she married is part of a wealthy family and the man she really loves is a law officer charged with investigating that family?
Yes, my imagination just kept going and going….

In this excerpt, Kathryn Morgan’s son seven year old son has disappeared. She believes her husband has taken the child just to punish her for an earlier transgression. She is in the Lobster Cove police office, asking cynical acting sheriff Ben Asher, the man she really loves, for help. Here goes:

He should have known she'd come to see him. Women like her treated men like something they'd wipe off the soles of their shoes. Once a man got them out from under his skin, they came running back to try and get that old itch wanting to be scratched again.

Ben's impassive face showed none of his thoughts as five minutes later one of the deputies, Roy Webb, showed a pale-faced Kathryn into the office. Ben thanked the deputy, then silently indicated that Kathryn should sit on one of the hard, uncomfortable visitors' chair before returning to concentrate on the papers he was reading.

Or pretending to read – the sight of her took his breath away again, and he watched her covertly from under his brows. Dark rings under her eyes accentuated her paleness, and she was thinner than he remembered, dressed in an expensive designer suit in a pale oyster color that accentuated that pale skin and luminous green eyes. Her features had matured and she had developed a poise that suited her. The pretty girl he had known had become a stunningly beautiful woman.

Finally, when he could put it off no longer, Ben signed his name with a flourish and dropped the paperwork back into its file in his out basket. He leaned back in his chair, met her direct gaze and asked: "What can I do for you, Mrs. Morgan?"

Something flickered across her face at his tone, at the slight emphasis on her married title. She pushed back a stray lock of hair with fingers that shook a little, but her voice was even as she replied. "I've come to you because I need help, Ben."

Another Man’s Son is available on TWRP website, and on most Amazon sites.

Saturday Snippets–The No Sex Clause, Free eBook!

@GlenysOConnell

Yes, I come bearing a gift! First off, many thanks to all the people who downloaded last week’s free ebook, my romantic comedy, Marrying Money. Love you all!

Next up, here’s the second free eBook I promised. This one has a Christmas theme and a very feisty heroine who has reached a point in life where she re-examines her life and her past – and finds true love and friendship where she least expects it. The book is The No Sex Clause (but don’t let the title mislead you!)

Here’s the blurb:

Anna Findlay needs a man.

Anna has gone from being the bullied Mouse in a small town high school to the perfectly groomed and wealthy author of a pop psychology book on sex.

When her publicity agent talks her into going to her high school reunion at Christmas, there are two problems - Anna hated high school, and she has no one to go with. So, in her own pragmatic style, she hires an escort from an agency - a move that will change her life forever.

Anna finds herself revisiting her past and learning that she has never been comfortable in any of the personas she has invented for herself.

It takes falling in love - and Christmas - to show her that all she needs do is be herself.

The No Sex Clause is free from Saturday, the 20th of December, until Wednesday, the 24th, on most Amazon Kindle sites such as Amazon.com Amazon.ca and Amazon.co.uk

And while you’re on Amazon, pop over and take a peek at my latest romantic suspense, Another Man’s Son, from The Wild Rose Press Lobster Cove series

May your holidays be merry and bright!

Wednesday’s Writing: Don’t Know What to Give the Writers on Your List? Problem Solved!

@GlenysOConnell

Have a writer on your Christmas gift list? Stuck for ideas? That’s not surprising, considering you’re dealing with a person who can have anything he or she wants – in their imagination, of course!

But buying for writer friends or family needn’t be a chore. And it needn’t be expensive, either. Of course, the latest word processing programs, computer technology, a library full of books or a year’s rental on a retreat to a villa in France, would all be welcome gifts. Bear in mind that the latter could be very pricey indeed, because most of us writers are broke much of the time so you’d definitely have to throw in air fare and stock the place with food.

But for more realistic purposes, here are a few writer pleasing ideas:

1) Fancy pens, pencils, cute notebooks, or other desktop gadgets. Sure, we know we’re in the age of high tech, but there’s nothing like the allure of a clean, virginal page or a fancy new gel pen.

2) A really good diary with at least a page per day for notes. Or more than a page, to help keep track of word counts, deadlines, book signings, talk events, submission dates, etc.

3) The online version of The Writer’s Market.

4) The online version of Writer’s Digest

5) A comfy cushion for the desk chair – you’d be amazed just how numb one’s posterior can get after a few hours of typing madly, butt in chair….

6) One of those little desk puzzles, to give the brain a break from words. Careful with the choice, though – nothing too difficult. Writers are all too familiar with failure, and not being able to do the Rubik’s Cube, for example, can begin a slow slide into depression as fast as any rejection letter.

7) A pair of those woolly fingerless gloves, for typing when the power is out – or has been cut off – and there’s no heat.

8) Woolly socks with tops that will fit over flannel pajama bottoms.
9) Flannel pajama bottoms.

10) A gift card for Starbucks or Tim Horton’s, so that your writer won’t get black looks after sitting in the warm café for hours, typing without buying…..


11)  Probably the very best gift for a writer costs nothing: Time. Yes, time to write without interruption is such a gift! Be a friend. Don’t take offence when your writer buddy rolls her eyes at your suggestions that the two of you go out, when you know she’s on deadline. Offer to take the kids for a couple of hours, cook a meal, pick up groceries, dry cleaning, kids from school. Don’t talk for hours on the phone. Listen when she needs a sounding board, otherwise give her some space.

Trust me, she or he will eventually emerge from the writing cave, eager and ready for human interaction again……one the writing is done. Until the next book, of course….

And speaking of the next book – don’t forget Saturday is the day for the next free eBook that I promised. This one has a Christmas theme to help get you in the mood, but it’s not all sweetness and light…..Be sure to check out Saturday’s Snippets this weekend!

Monday’s Inspiration–Live Your Passion

"If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.." ~ T. Alan Armstrong

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.." ~ Howard Thurman

“Passion is the oxygen of the soul” – Bill Butler
Quotes from Inspiring Quotes of the Week

You have probably heard that expression: “Follow your passion and the money will come” and scratched your head wondering how to make that happen. For artists, you wonder when you’ll earn enough from your passion to live without a job.

There’s the tempting possibility of quitting the day job, working like the devil turning out books, artwork, pottery, one-of-a-kind crafts and clothing, fabric arts, or whatever inflames your passion, and just hope that the cash comes in.

But in your heart you know – especially if you have the responsibility for others – that the bank isn’t going to accept your artwork as a mortgage payment, and the grocery store won’t take copies of your books in lieu of cold hard cash.
How, then, short of winning the lottery, can you follow your passion?

Here’s my take on that:
First off, an attitude change. Stop calling your everyday job The Evil Day Job. That tells your brain to hate what you spend 30-40 hours a week doing. Isn’t that in itself a recipe for restless misery?

Instead, consider what that work allows you to do – you have contact with people you can learn from, socialize with your co-workers, working together, you have a viable skill set with growing experience that may stand you in good stead, you have the opportunity to people watch, learn from the lives of others (invaluable if you’re a writer!) and, on top of that, you get to pay for the roof over your head and three meals a day.

Imagine if you spent all day at a desk in a room, alone, with no outside contact. Just you and your imagination. Yes, I know – it sounds wonderful. But pretty soon you’d get bored, restless, in need of contact and inspiration from the outside world.

For the creative person, every experience, every contact, is grist for the artistic mill. Use what you see around you, what you feel, what you learn from other people, your everyday experiences, yes, even your day job, to fuel your passion.

Next, Fake it until you make it!

First, you need to find your passion. Here’s a great article by Barrie Davenport in TransMind: What Do You Do When You Have No Earthly Idea What Your Passion Might Be?

Live the artistic life. Find some time every day to add to your growing talent, expertise, and insight. Paint, write, draw, create. You can squeeze a little time out here and there, even if it’s only happening in your head.

Go to conferences if you can, take your work to shows, to craft sales, to community events. I’ve heard from writers who have sold more books at a local crafts fair than through regular channels!

All the while you are stoking your passion, building your skills, using the daily grind of life to fuel your creativity.And one day, with luck, talent, hard work, something wonderful will happen.

You’ll be living your passion.

This week’s free ebook is Marrying Money, a fun romantic comedy set in Ireland. It’s free on Amazon Kindle from Dec 13 – 17 – get yours now for a relaxing read!

Saturday Snippets: Free Book: Marrying Money!

@GlenysOConnell


I promised free ebooks before Christmas, and here’s the first! I know this blog has been neglected for the past couple of weeks, but I’m back and I’m raring to have you read this story about a modern day English aristocrat who needs a husband. She has a list of what she wants – but love has other ideas! If you love Brit humor you'll really 'get' this book!

Here’s the blurb:
Diana, Lady Ashburnham, needs to find a rich husband, and fast.
She's the last of an aristocratic line stretching back 500 years, and she's broke. The family fortunes have been eaten up by the crumbling mansion and impoverished estate. Not wanting to be known as the 'Ashburnham Who Lost The Lot', she refuses to sell off heirloom jewelry or let the estate be auctioned off to a dot.com millionaire or heavy metal rock star. 

That's when Diana has her Great Idea – she'll follow a new take on the way her ancestors raised money – by marrying money! 

So Diana corals her best friend, commoner Sally Barnes, into joining her on a trip to Ireland to try to net a – preferably titled – millionaire. After all, with the Celtic Tiger economic boom, Ireland is supposed to be awash with wealthy guys. As she tells Sally, Ashburnham ancestors plundered Ireland with Cromwell, so why shouldn’t Diana do a bit of plundering there herself? 

Sally, very much a common commoner from a council house, reluctantly agrees to the trip. 

They meet up with Diana's very pretentious but untitled cousin, Mairead, who married money herself – a wealthy 'paper products' entrepreneur. His line of work has led to many rude family jokes, but Diana has to admit that Mairead had landed herself in the lap of luxury with her marriage choices. 

It looks like Diana isn’t going to be so lucky. Not only do the very valuable Ashburnham Emeralds disappear at the Galway Races, where Sally, not Diana, is chosen the winner of the Ladies' Day Prize, but there seems a huge shortage of titled wealthy young men who would be willing to fork out the millions required to keep Alexandria House, the Ashburnham estate, and Diana all in the style to which they want to become accustomed.......

And things get even more confused when the titled Irish aristocrat who is perfect for Diana has other ideas, and Diana’s heart flutters for a tradesman…..

Reviews For Marrying Money:
4.5 star review from The Long & The Short:
Take a pile of crumbling stones called Alexandria House, add in a garrulous narrator, and you’re all set for a romp through a series of comedic calamities.
Ms. O’Connell marries comedy and suspense together as tightly as bindweed. She captures the idiocyncrinacies of the English class system so beautifully, then adds in some Irish blarney, and hey presto, you’re off again, until the tears of laughter stream down your face.
Her heroine, Lady Diane is larger than life and willing to admit to her flaws. Sally, her best friend, but ‘not her social equal’ is as Dr. Watson to Sherlock Holmes. She brings balance to events, and still manages to throw in some thought provoking personal digs, just when Lady D is in full flow.
Lady D is so busy looking for ‘The Right Man’, to save her estates, she doesn’t see him when he’s standing under her nose.
Bob the Builder, Ms. O’Connell’s hero, is everything a hero should be, but for Lady D, so entrenched in a search for a man from her own social echelon, he’s not in the running.
Lady D has lessons to learn, and part of the suspense is created when it seems she may not learn them in time.
If you enjoy reading about settings you feel you are standing in, surrounded by a vibrant cast of characters, with a pot-full of suspense and a happy-ever-after, then this is the book for you. If you can stop laughing long enough to clear your eyes of tears, that is!
Four Stars from
By Marion H. Campbell (Burbank, CA, US) -
This review is from: Marrying Money: Lady Diana's Story (Kindle Edition)
What happens when two girlfriends try to find the perfect rich man to marry? Great romp, fun book! Add a cool drink and the beach, and this makes for perfect summer reading.
Marrying Money: Lady Diana’s Story, is free on Kindle (and don’t forget you can get an app to read Kindle books on your PC, laptop or tablet – or even your smart phone!)
Free from Saturday, December 12, to December 17.
Get it on Amazon - here on Amazon.com
Or on Amazon.ca:
Or Amazon.co.uk